A "love-ly" blog

What a tiresome task it is.. to wait for something so blurry and uncertain. Is it worth keeping?

IM exhausted but being the person of strong will and positivity, well, I might let a little depression moment take place but i wont allow these worries to stand in the way - to shatter my spirit.

I know i will get hurt. I know i have to wait. and i know that i should learn to just let it go when the person is not anymore into you no matter how you are into that person.

I just cant hide the fact that i am hurting just to think of all the words being said, but not done. Never thought that his feelings will soon all wane.

I dont know if im just imagining things.. But to be frank, i reckon you're not serious with it. sorry, but that's just how i feel. I was under the impression that it is love. That's what you were trying to say to me before all of these befall right?.. It's hard to convince myself now.. Because if it is love, there must be an act of love.

Well, so much for that lonely moments, I just wanna give a lecture here if you'd allow me to, anyway this is my blog. . (grinning)

If you love a person, you spend time with the person. You wouldnt say, "I'll find time" but "I will make time with him/her". You are more than glad to spend every minute with him/her and wouldnt mind how long you spent time with him/her even in total silence. It sounds corny of course, but this is a matter of fact. This isnt just a baseless observation. Of course there will be boring times. But just look at old couples around who survived different tests in their marriage through time, including the "boring times" in their relationship. I wouldnt want to contest to that.

Ok, but many relationships lasted for a few years or so. How about that?
Well, they mistook love to purely just a feeling. But true love isnt just a feeling. It is an action. (you might heard this a thousand times before. but believe me this is true).

True love starts when the "love" feeling expires - and that you are still willing to do acts of love for the person even after the realization that the feeling subsides. That is true love. If you really love the person, you wouldnt base your love on the intensity of your feelings in the moment. Because feelings just like flame will soon subside.

Im not saying that love as a feeling is unimportant. Of course, love as a feeling is also an essential spice in every relationship, but it is not the solid foundation of strong relationships. I repeat love is not a feeling but an action.

The purest definition of love for me is...
It is the act of extending yourself for the spiritual growth of the other person. You do things that would make him a better person. You support each other without vested selfish interests. You support the person as much as you can because you yourself believe this will help him grow into a magnanimous person than the first time you found him/her.

However, avoid losing yourself or personal identity in the process. You too are a person needing support. This is a two-way process, make this clear to yourself. There are so much martyrs in this world, and you are not qualified (kidding). A person full of love inside can only give love to others. You should be the first person who loves you. Respect and love yourself.

Then what makes a loving person?
A loving person is doing and willing to do good things for others out of love and generosity. ANd i tell this to a lot of people, you first have to overhaul your perspectives about love before you seek a person to love. And before you seek a deserving person to love, you have to be the person who is deserving first. You need to be prepared emotionally and psychologically, first and foremost, before entering into a commitment.

And why am I talking of commitment here?

Well when you are truly loving a person, you wanted to give him/her the assurance of your intentness and sincerity- you wanted to commit yourself to the person that you will love him/her for as long as you both live. That's where commitment comes in.

I firmly believe, unlike many, that commitment is a good thing. It builds stronger relationships. It is the most wonderful gift a loving person can give to profess his love.

But fear of rejection and ego boundaries would often make your deciding difficult. Why? Because fear and ego give you wrong concept about commitment. They will horribly give you a picture of how limited your working environment would be when you are committed, which should not be the case . Because as I have said, if a person truly loves you, he/she will do things that would lead you to your spiritual growth (when I say spiritual it doesnt necessarily mean religious). It is a mixture of, among other things, respect and self-discipline. Therefore true love is disciplined.

Hay, there's so much about love that remains to be a mystery. One thing I know for sure is that it takes a great effort to maintain and sustain a loving and healthy relationship. But history has taught us that it really wasnt impossible. ANd it is worth all the effort. It is rewarding - more than you could ever hoped for.

So love with all your heart and find meaning in your relationship.

I wish you true love annd happiness.