and Im back!

wla lng. just to make a blog lang. and ihinga sama ng loob ko these past few days. nga pla i have a boyfriend na. do you know who he is? cguro the fastest way to introduce him to you is.. hmmm...

well.. tell you that he's kind-hearted. pero u know he's not that sweet and protective na compared during the time he was courting me. nabawasan ba. saka factor din un...

lalo na he's working miles away from me. im trying to put my trust in our relationship. pero you can never tell. malayo sya and i cannot be by his side physically all the time whenever he needs me. bsta,at least im honest and straight. im not doing anything that would hurt his feelings. i dont know to him. even a slightest doubt laging meron yan sa long distance relationships.

but you know, sinasanay ko n din ang sarili ko na wala sya. wla sya s tabi ko. mahal ko sya, but i dont wanna get hurt again. alam mo un, umaasa ka for nothing. just like before. i thought im done with those things. hindi na ako paaasahin nino man. but here i am found myself, longing to be with the person i love. umaasa ulit. without really an assurance na kmi till the end.

of course you're hoping he's the one for you. but as long as hindi kayo kasal, minsan kasal n nga naghihiwalay pa, you can never tell. I mean love is a give and take relationship. and a pressure cooker at that. the only people who can be together are those who really love each other. pag weak kasi ang foundation.. kusang mwawala un. sana love is the root of your relationship. and love is not a joke thing. its a serious matter. there should be respect. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

i dont want people to see loneliness in my face. or khit nagwworry ako. not to show weakness to them. gusto ko lng maging optimistic. na behind thick clouds there is a silver lining. i wanna be happy all my life. khit may problema. because life is too short. i wanna spend it meanigfully.i love life. I love God. nothing can break my spirit. i was fine before dumating sya sa buhay ko. now that he's into my world, i wanted to make him feel the happiness and love in me, in my heart. if he cant find his home there, i cant stop him from leaving. you cant hold the person to stay with you unless he wants to. you can just embrace people as they come.

i hope he can find his home in me. sayang nman kung hindi. im ready to love him forever. and when i love its for real.

sna. that's the only word i can utter today. i dont know the future yet.

today, im lonely... kasi i can feel he's not that in love anymore. not like before, nung una. or maybe im just imagining things. maybe bec we're far from each other. nagaaway pa sa phone kung minsan.

people change. sna for the better nlng. sna hindi change of heart.

i love him. God knows how i love him. But only God knows what will happen. I hope God you give us strength of heart and mind to surpass every block. God i know we failed you. we made mistakes. but im willing to change. if this is what you want. I'll follow you. Just take me where you want me to lead.

Im sorry God. I hope you can forgive us once again.